It has been more than a month since I arrived in Japan and I have been constantly updating my friends and family on social media. Personally, it makes me happy to see people comment on my updates. Some appreciate Japan’s grandeur nature, friends send their pasalubong lists and others send their regards and well wishes for me. While I appreciate the generous comments of my friends, I had days when I felt weak and I struggled every day. I couldn’t find the comfort I needed from my friends’ words. I did not understand where the struggle came from. It’s quite impossible for me to not appreciate my current state in life because I prayed for this. I earnestly prayed for a teaching job in Japan and God gave it to me. He also placed me near where my friends I met five years ago also live. I wanted this for so long and definitely, this is not the reason why I felt empty.
However, as nights passed by, I felt the sadness of the country. I don’t hear people sing Christian songs, I don’t hear people say “God bless you”, I couldn’t even tell my students that Jesus Christ loves them. I knew for myself that although God has answered my prayer, there is something I needed to see and understand. I knew that the emptiness generated from me.
I tried solving the puzzle. Since I arrived here, I had not gone to church because of my work schedule. On Saturdays I work 11 hours and on Sundays I work 8 hours. I had no time to visit a church or get to join a Christian fellowship. The only free days I have are Mondays and Tuesdays, and these were the first two days of regular work. I looked for a Christian church but unfortunately closed their door just because they don’t have a weekday fellowship. I thought to myself, maybe it’s the lack of fellowship I get every Sunday that makes me feel empty. I forced myself to do daily devotions morning and evening but I failed. I prayed more than three times a day but it felt like I forget what prayed for after I said my “Amen”. People message me regularly, asking how I was and I would reply with the usual “I’m doing great! Thanks.” But I knew deep inside my heart I wasn’t.
Tonight, God called me and He shared me His unexplainable joy.
I was listening to my favorite song and this time, I sang it like I meant every word of it. The song says, “Oh how strange and divine, I can sing: all is mine! Yet not I, but through Christ in me .”
Neither did I hear myself sing nor the singers. I heard Jesus Christ talking to me. I heard Him telling me to take rest in Him and let Him do the work. What a wonderful reminder! I did not see where God is majority of the time I am here. I may have seen Him as the one who paved my way to get here but I did not see Him journeying with me ever single day. I was sad because I did not bring His joy with me. I set a purpose for myself and have completely forgotten that my purpose was set long before I arrived here. It is His race, not mine.
For more than a month, I have struggled with my faith, my lack of spiritual strength, my apathy to the gospel and procrastination in work. I have been praying but it seems like the words I muttered were just for the sake of saying something. However, God is so powerful that His presence, His reminder and His call can come across your heart- whatever you do and wherever you are.
God told me in Isaiah 41:13 that He is my Lord and my God, He holds my right hand; it is Him who say to me, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” He has made me glad and I am in awe!
I pray that the joy He gave me won’t leave me. I need it every second that I exist. I pray that hope and comfort will also be felt by those who need them. Please pray for me. Please, let us pray for everyone. He listens!
Sending you holiday wishes filled with warm love,
Justin